Before your own kid is diagnosed with a life threatening food allergy there are a lot of things you don’t really pay attention to. I know because before my 15 month old son Baxter had a reaction to peanut butter a few days after he turned one I didn’t pay attention or think twice about food allergies.
When I went to the bounce houses and the sign said “please no food or drink” inside the gated baby areas I thought that was to prevent someone from choking on a raisin. Now I know that the sign is not only there for that, but to also put a few mother’s like myself minds at ease that their child is not going to find a peanut butter Cheerio in a corner and pop it in their mouth. Thereby turning a fun morning into a trip to the emergency room in an ambulance.
In the past when I hosted parties, and you know how I like to host parties, I never even thought to ask if any of the guests had food allergies. For Baxter’s 1st birthday there was a giant bowl of nuts sitting right in the center of the table for everyone to enjoy. I understand when throwing a party you can’t suit everyone’s needs but I will never have a bowl of nuts lying around again. I always make sure to have vegetarian snacks for my guests that I am careful of cross contamination with, I will now do the same with food and guests that have food allergies.
I know you think it is a pain that your daycare is peanut free. Maybe you are out doing your grocery shopping and the store does not carry sunbutter so you think no big deal I’ll just make peanut butter and jelly until I get around to picking some up. Kids share food and they get it all over their hands and smear it all over shared toys. For young children that still mouth toys that can mean big trouble in little China. At home go peanut butter crazy, but if your school is peanut free I promise there is some mother somewhere sweating bullets that the pre-school teacher remembers how to use the Epi-pen.
Last but not least don't assume parents of kids with food allergies are paranoid crazies with Munchausen by proxy tendencies. How do you think you would feel or act if the most common food fed to small children was like poison to your baby. You'd be a nut too, no pun intended. I'm sure there are a few crazies out there that are over reacting, there is with every illness. However, I've been to a specialist, we've had the blood work done, they don't give 12 month old babies prescriptions for Epi-Pins because it's funny.
These are just a few things I never thought twice about until I found out my own kiddlet had a food allergy. For those that don’t know this is food allergy awareness week. 12 million people have food allergies, the incidence has doubled over the past 10 years. You can learn more from FAAN (The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network).
Sometimes life is cruel. I am already the most neurotic mother I know. I’m the mom that freaks out about hand washing and helmets. All I need is one more thing to lay in bed nights worrying about. I have to carry an auto injector of ephedrine with me wherever we go. I have to insist that no one brings snacks to my house when I host play dates. When I go to the Jumpy Gym, library story time or children’s museum I have to be extra careful about making sure Baxter does not put anything in his mouth. But, this is not about me. This is about my little man. Baxter has a 50% chance of outgrowing his allergy, but there is also the chance that it will get worse. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, saying my prayers and in the meantime buying stock in Sunbutter. I'm also not letting this turn Baxter into a shut in. I plan on having him live his awesome little peanut-less life to the fullest. I'm just extra careful. Maybe it is a blessing for Baxter that his mother is already so paranoid.
Do you know anyone with a food allergy? I’d love to hear if you are oblivious like I was or abundantly aware because someone in your family is effected.
Oh my God Jenn - I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI don't have food allergies but I am violently allergic to dogs and have to be very careful about whose homes I go to.
My heart goes out to you and Baxter and I appreciate this post.
xxoo
My son is like Baxter too and we csn add eggs as well. We have epipens at school, grandmas, the diaper bag,etc. Sam is picky like a lot of kids with allergies. I feel ya sister. He is 2 1/2 now..
ReplyDeleteMy five year old son is allergic to dill. I had always been aware of peanut and strawberry allergies, but dill? Really? And, like peanuts, you'd be amazed at the number of things dill is somehow hidden in, though in this case it's lumped together and listed in ingredient labels simply as "spices". It makes eating pre-packaged meals a gamble, and eating out into a chore of asking for ingredient lists before we can order a dish. A serious food allergy paired with an adventurous eater has been an interesting balance beam, but I think though that with peanut allergies being relatively common, once you get your little man out of his toddler and little kid years, it will be smooth sailing for everyone. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteExcellent perspective that should be required reading for all those who have/care for people with food allergies. Thanks for your insights and take good care.
ReplyDeleteI understand this situation all too well! I get the "crazy" eye all the time when I ask about certain ingredients. Thank you for your post!
ReplyDeleteThe first poster brings up a good point. Food allergies are not the only thing that we need to worry about, even in food establishments (restaurants, grocery stores, etc.). More and more, people are bringing dogs everywhere with them which I don't agree with anyway, but when they bring them into restaurants or stores, it makes me mad. Not only do people not enjoy dog hair in their food (or department store) but its super inconsiderate of people who have allergies.
ReplyDeleteAs far as peanut allergies, it is super common and the GOOD thing about that is so many people are more understanding about that (not sending peanuts to school, etc.). Also, it is very common to "grow out" of a peanut allergy. My nephew was super allergic when he was young and it contact would cause eczema flare-ups on his arms and legs (even where he didn't touch it) but now at 7, he doesn't have the same reaction at all. He sort of 'stepped down' and went from full attacks to sniffles to now, nothing. I also had a boyfriend who was allergic to EVERYTHING and I always had an epi-pen in my purse and car (as well as his) because so many things could set it off but by the time he was 21 he outgrew almost all of it. He still had sensitivities to dust and some pollen, but the food allergies all seemed to go away at once.
Which is to say: there is hope that it won't always be so bad. Maybe your little boy will be the kind of guy who never eats peanut butter, but he will most likely be the guy who won't get super sick just from touching someone else's sandwich.
Oh your sweet little nugget boy! I'm sorry! Unfortunately it is very common now. And i know it is a long way off but school's seem to be really careful, by putting "Nut Free Zone", sign's on the classroom door if a student has an allergy,and specific table's in lunchroom's as some kid's can't even get near a nut. Our friend's little girl has nut allergie's and we alway's have a sweet or snack she can eat,so she doesn't feel left out.Hang tough!
ReplyDeleteI've dealt with food allergies my whole life. I totally understand your concerns, frustrations and cautiousness. I'm allergic to tree nuts and certain fruits (specifically bananas) which make my throat close and lips swell. I can eat peanuts which causes major confusion since more (though not most) people have heard of peanut allergies. I, too, carry an Epipen whereever I go which includes out of the country (um...can we say bag search even with my prescription) and to work which means educating coworkers on how to use it.
ReplyDeleteMay I suggest some books that really helped me and might help you be aware of some of the challenges those with food allergies face as children and adults from the perspective of a person with food allergies? They are Allergic Girl by Sloane Miller and Don't Kill the Birthday Girl by Sandra Beasley. I learned about food anxiety and a ton of other things that left me thinking...I thought I was the only one! Both are the real deal about how it feels to have a food allergy.
Poor little Baxter! I'm so sorry. But luckily he's got an attentive mama and papa who will make sure he's as safe as can be. And I will make sure to never bring any nuts anywhere near your house!
ReplyDeleteThe first time, and hopefully the last time I had to call 911 was a scary experience. I had no idea my 7 year old even had a nut allergy. We were at a birthday party at my mom's and she had a bowl of cashews out. He had one-half of a cashew. One-half! That was all it took, and I was on the phone with 911. We had no idea he had a nut allergy. He had always eaten peanut butter with no problems. Turned out he had a tree nut allergy! Epi-pen at school, epi-pen in my purse, epi-pen at home now. We, thankfully, have never had to use it. Had to work with the school to make sure a nut free allergy sign was put on the classroom door because a parent kept bringing a trail mix with nuts into the class for snacks, which the teacher never did anything about, and luckily my son was aware NOT to touch it. It is a scary allergy to deal with. School has a nut-free table in the lunch cafeteria for the allergy kids to sit at now too thankfully. We are going in for blood work this summer because our doctor says hopefully he will outgrow it.
ReplyDeleteWhenever we have kids over I always ask the parents before they even come if any of their kids have any allergies of any kind. You are doing a good job, Jennifer, watching out for Baxter and his allergy! He is a cutie!
Leslie